You HATE going to the dentist! Even the thought of it now leads to that familiar dread, and maybe even a rising sensation of panic. You vividly recall the pain you had at that one dentist’s office in the past. You fear what the dentist might find, and all the time, money, and discomfort that might come with that. If you could avoid the dentist forever, you would!
You are not alone in your dental anxiety—MANY other people share this same fear. Even Dr. Medianick can relate! He grew up without Novocain in Ukraine and remembers how, as a little boy, he hid before dental appointments. These experiences motivated him to want to become an excellent dentist.
The question is—what do YOU do about your dental anxiety? You can continue to avoid the dentist, but you are also afraid that any dental problems might worsen. The other option is to bite the bullet and just go, but you are afraid not only of what might happen, but also how you might FEEL when you go. The reality is, you are in a conundrum, and you badly need reassurance. We would like to equip you with proven coping skills that can help.
The American Dental Association’s (ADA) Mouth Healthy article, “Anxiety: 3 Ways to Stop Fearing the Dentist” provides several very helpful mental and behavioral tools to combat dental anxiety. I can attest to the value of these cognitive-behavioral skills as a licensed professional counselor myself, who also happens to be Dr. Medianick’s wife.
Exposure
The first tool that the ADA article addresses is the tool of exposure. Avoidance feels good in the moment, but it actually leads to more anxiety over time. And since dental problems will worsen with the passage of time, the article notes that this can make gearing up for future appointments even harder. Taking the leap and doing what we fear most can help us realize that our fears are usually much worse than reality.
Verbal Expression
Exposure by itself is not sufficient to overcome anxiety. We need to pair it with other tools. One of these other tools the article addresses is the power of expressing our fears. Here are several ways it suggests doing that:
- Talk to the Staff: Tell the receptionist ahead of time that you have dental anxiety. Clearly share your anxiety with the dentist and dental staff when you first see them. Be specific about bad past experiences, and ask them for suggestions as to how to cope with your dental anxiety.
- Ask Questions: The article encourages people to not hesitate to ask questions. We can’t know everything, but many times, having a better idea of what will happen can help us to mentally prepare for what might come next.
- Agree on a Signal: Find an agreed-upon signal with your dentist (i.e., raise your hand) to indicate that you want a break if needed.
Distraction Techniques
Mental and behavioral distraction is a very powerful way to overcome any anxiety, including dental anxiety. The article provides several practical ways you can do this when in the dentist’s office. I have categorized these according to well-known distraction methods within the field of psychology.
- Auditory/Visual Distraction: Listen to music or an audiobook (i.e., wear headphones), or watch TV (or your favorite program on your personal device).
- Tactile Distraction: Squeeze a stress ball or play with a small object, like a fidget spinner.
- Mental Imagery: Imagine a happy place in your mind and/or a beautiful scene (i.e., your favorite vacation spot). I would suggest that if you struggle doing this, try to activate all of your senses. Recall your favorite sounds, smells, and sights at that location, and relish how you felt when you were there.
Relaxation Techniques
The ADA article labels this section “mindfulness techniques,” but really what they address in this section boils down to physical ways to relax in order to help your mind relax. Here are two methods they suggest:
- Deep Breathing: Count your breaths, and then inhale slowly and exhale slowly for the same number of counts. I can tell you that the key to relaxation breathing is slow, deep breaths. You want to breath from deep within your diaphragm, as when we are anxious, we tend to take quick breaths from high in our chest.
- Relax Your Muscles: The method the article suggests is to contract specific muscles and then relax them, starting with your head and working down to your toes (i.e., your forehead, then your cheeks, your neck, etc.). I have used this same technique with clients, and the result is that they become more aware of where they are carrying tension in their body, and what relaxed muscles feel like versus tense muscles.
Self-Talk
I want to add one more coping skill that can be very useful for any anxiety-provoking situation, and that is the power of self-talk. The mind is the control center for anxiety. If I assume the worst will happen, I will fear it. If I ask myself a million what-ifs questions about what might happen, I will feel anxious. The trick is to replace the anxious thought with a more accurate and true thought. For instance, I can tell myself that I may feel some discomfort in the dental office, but that I have a great dentist who does an excellent job at minimizing pain (which I know my husband does!). I can also tell myself that I may have to get an unwanted dental procedure, but that I am in good hands, and there are staff to walk me through the process—in other words, they have my back! I can also recall other difficult things that I have gone through and overcome. Your mind is your greatest liability when it comes to dental anxiety, but the good news is, you can train it by repeated and accurate self-talk!
Dental anxiety does not have to be forever! And even if you do continue to struggle with it, it doesn’t have to remain at the same level of intensity. There are very practical coping skills you can apply to minimize it. Any skill requires practice, and relief likely will not come all at once, but remember, Dr. Medianick and the staff at Boulevard Dental personally understand and are in this with you!
-Ann Medianick, M.A., M.S.
Reference:
Anxiety: 3 Ways to Stop Fearing the Dentist. ADA Mouth Healthy. https://www.mouthhealthy.org/all-topics-a-z/anxiety. Accessed June 10, 2025.